


Unbeat My Heart

by JoseyxNeko



Series: Ineffable Idiots (Bureaucracy and Husbands) [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Author can't write smut so just makes jokes instead, Bad Jokes, Beelzebub has Agoraphobia, Beelzebub's inner monologue is so sweary I'm sorry, But not much because Beelzebub POV, Comedic Violence, Comedy, Do Demons even have hearts?, Dom/sub Undertones, Gabriel likes to talk, Hell, Humor, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Kidnapping, M/M, Made by a Demon with no Imagination, Mild Gore, No sex is written though, Other, POV Beelzebub (Good Omens), Prequel, Safeword Suggestion, Sequel, Some Fluff, Suggested Smut, Swearing, Trash Fire treated seriously, because hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-21 09:50:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20691536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoseyxNeko/pseuds/JoseyxNeko
Summary: It had certainly felt intimate with Gabriel[...]But at no point during the exchange did Beelzebub’s heart beat.Gabriel’s heart had beat. They’d felt it when they laid their head upon his chest. They thought that was normal for an Angel, a being of love, until Gabriel declared in his brazenconfessionthat it had never happened before, and it had only happened for them.Beelzebub’s heart didn’t even poot. There was nothing. Just an empty, hollow shell. No glowylovefeelings. No uncontrollable desires. Just a clear head, a physical response, and a fun way to pass the time.Beelzebub and Gabriel continue whatever it is that they are. A Beelzebub POV.**This is a Sequel to my previous storyThe Rest Of Me Wants To Meet You.It's not strictly necessary to read that one first, but it is referenced here sometimes.





	Unbeat My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Beelzebub's inner monologue turned out more sweary than I expected. I love writing them a little too much.
> 
> Gabriel is He/Him  
Beelzebub is They/Them  
Eric (Disposable Demon) is singular He/Him, regardless of how many of him there are.
> 
> Special thanks to my sister-in-law for proof-reading and giggling!
> 
> Please Enjoy!

Beelzebub’s heart had never beat.

That is, if they even had a heart. They were a Demon, after all.

Not just any Demon.

**The Prince of Hell. Lord of the Flies. Lucifer’s right-hand man**.

And all those other gendered titles that don’t accurately describe what they are.[1]

It all left Beelzebub feeling weary.

After Armageddnope, getting the Demons of Hell to put down their weapons and go back to work had been a cinch. You scream at them with all the force granted to the Prince of Hell, and rip a Disposable Demon’s spine out from their rectum, and that was it. Weapons down. Demons working.

Working towards _what_? Did _anyone_ know?

The bigger problem had been sorting the chaos after Crowley, the Traitor, had caused a scene in the Holy Water bath. They’d tested it again, once the abomination had left, on another low ranking Demon that mostly just took up space. It was indeed active Holy Water that Crowley had just splashed around in and asked for a- what was it again? A rudder buck? Whatever that was. Bloody natives.

Salvation[2] had arrived in the form of a faintly glowing piece of paper on Beelzebub’s desk.

_Meet me on Earth. _

_Hyde Park, at the Peter Pan statue. _

_Tomorrow Noon._

_We have much to discuss._

The paper was torn, and smelled distinctly of Angel. One Angel, in particular, whom Beelzebub had spoken to just days ago on a disturbingly open airbase in Tadfield. They shuddered at the memory of how big and open that sky looked, and felt mild disgust at the comfort they felt standing next to the looming Archangel next to them.

They should’ve just ignored it.

What kind of Demon responded to notes from Angels, anyway?

_Bored_ ones.

And Beelzebub was bored.

\--

The meeting was a complete and utter disaster, and they could barely wait to set up another one.

Who knew of the stress relieving properties that simply rubbing flesh against flesh could provide, even if that flesh belonged to an A N G E L[3]? They’d known about these activities before their encounter with Gabriel on Earth, since they were a Demon, obviously. But they’d never partaken, as the thought of the intimacy required had made them squirm and cringe, deep down inside. Other Demons had done it as part of their work up on Earth, but that was the beauty of being the Prince of Hell; people did what you told them to, and you didn’t have to do anything you didn’t want to.

Lucifer had asked them once, “Don’t you want to go to Earth? See what all the fuss is about?”

Beelzebub had just looked at him.

“...right. I’ve got a child to cultivate. So I’ll just be-” he’d pointed his thumb over his shoulder at nothing in particular, and went on his way.

It had certainly felt intimate with Gabriel, but not until just before their second round. Before then, it had just been physically satisfying, they supposed, and very fun to see an Archangel who spoke as much as Gabriel unable to form words. Beelzebub had had their suspicions that the Archangel was possibly having _feelings_, what with his weird behaviour[4], but in the moment they had, against their better judgement, showed the tiniest, most miniscule amount of affection, _UGH_, to the Archangel, their body had almost been consumed in the glorious divine love that poured from his body. It had sparked their libido back into action, resulting in round two being quite a bit longer than the first one, and Beelzebub being a tad more keen.

But at no point during the exchange did Beelzebub’s heart beat.

Gabriel’s heart had beat. They’d felt it when they laid their head upon his chest. They thought that was normal for an Angel, a being of love, until Gabriel declared in his brazen _confession_ that it had never happened before, and it had only happened for them.

Beelzebub’s heart didn’t even poot. There was nothing. Just an empty, hollow shell. No glowy _love_ feelings. No uncontrollable desires. Just a clear head, a physical response, and a fun way to pass the time.

\--

Beelzebub had sent the note:

_Desk Warehouse._

_Friday Noon._

_No plants._

_The rest of me wants to meet you._

And it was now Friday.

They sat in that dusty, slowly dilapidating office building, on the same desk that they’d bent Gabriel over. They were pleased to see that it was just as filthy as it had been when they’d left, sticking their middle finger up at Gabriel as they went. There was also a lone sock underneath it. Interesting.

That’s why Beelzebub was here. Because it was interesting.

The flies buzzed in anticipation. Beelzebub was here early, obviously, because it would make the Angel feel bad to know he’d kept them waiting. Besides, what else was there to do? They told the flies to calm down, and not to make a scene.

There was a bolt of lightning before them, and the distinct smell of ozone. The dust crystallised around the shoes of the flash Archangel when they materialised, and it crunched under his soles as he strode towards them.

“Beelz!” He exclaimed as he approached. He threw his arms open wide, and gave them the worst, and only, bear hug of their life, lifting them from the desk into the air with ease as he squeezed them.

This, of course, was an unacceptable way to greet the Prince of Hell, and many Demons had been disembowelled for much, much less.

Beelzebub flailed their legs, catching the Archangel square in the crotch. It had been a low blow, literally, but it garnered the intended result.

Gabriel keeled downwards with a grunt, placing them back onto the desk surprisingly gently for someone so winded, and steadied himself, hands either side of Beelzebub’s knees.

“Did- did you _have_ to do that?” He choked out, turning red in the face, knees crossing.

“Never do that again.” Was all they replied.

“I was being affectionate!” Gabriel snarled, getting up in their face.

_Oh no_. It was happening again.

Beelzebub burst out laughing. There was something so hilarious, something so absurd about this Angel trying to be aggressive and threatening that it just _tickled_ them.

Gabriel looked shocked for a moment, and then his features softened. “I’ll just keep _that_ tucked away for when it’s needed...” He murmured to himself, his body relaxing as the offending appendage disappeared, removing the cause of his discomfort.

Beelzebub’s laughs died down. Gabriel was still up in their face, looking deeply into their eyes.

Just as he leaned down towards them, one of the flies landed on his nose. He went cross-eyed to look at it.

“Oh!” He stood back. “Is this one of your flies?”

Beelzebub didn’t respond.

Another fly landed on his face. And another. And another.[5] Until every fly that buzzed around Beelzebub’s head was crawling over him, learning his contours, his shape.

In all fairness to the Angel, he’d remained very calm throughout the whole ordeal, even though it had lasted a whole seven minutes.

The flies swarmed away from Gabriel, leaving him looking dazed and only a little disturbed.

Beelzebub felt _weird._

“There’s one missing.” They realised.

Gabriel spat it out his mouth with a ‘p’tooey’, and it flew off shyly. It returned to the others around Beelzebub’s head.

"Thank the Almighty I don't sleep, otherwise I think I'd have nightmares forever." Gabriel said cheerily.

Beelzebub felt delight at their flies being accepted, and that could just fuck right off. Their face remained blank, and they pulled Gabriel to them via his belt loops.

Gabriel went to put his hands on the Demon Prince, and then seemingly changed his mind. He let his arms dangle by his sides.

“Fuckangel?” Beelzebub asked, using the nickname they came up with for private use only.[6]

Gabriel’s face flushed bright, bright pink, and he coughed. “I, uh, don’t feel like it.”

“Oh.” Beelzebub said without inflection. They let him go. “Then why are you here?”

“I thought we could just talk instead. Maybe go for a walk around the building?” Gabriel suggested.

Beelzebub considered it. “Fine.” They replied. Could still be interesting.

They got up from the desk, dusted themselves off, and began towards the door. Gabriel didn’t move.

“Archangel?” They called him, confused.

Gabriel spun on the spot to face them. “Oh, sorry. I just thought....You’d insist.”

Beelzebub looked at him more blankly than usual.

“You’re a Demon. It’s what you do. Don’t you just take what you want?”

Oh. Well, he’s right. They are a Demon.

“Did you want me to?” Beelzebub asked.

Gabriel thought about it. “Having a choice in the decision _is_ nice.” He replied.

_Nice_. Demons aren’t _nice_. Still, it felt wrong here. Wronger than Beelzebub wanted things to be wrong.[7] They realised why.

“It’s no fun unless you want it.” They answered, resolutely.

“Oh.” Gabriel breathed. His features looked complicated. “Well...I do want it.”

Beelzebub’s flies buzzed loudly. They willed them calm and dismissed them.

“You lied?” Beelzebub questioned, trying not to overanalyse what was happening. They expected Demons to lie, but never an Angel. Beelzebub had thought that Gabriel was the type to truthfully say whatever dumb shit just popped into his head. [8]

Was this Gabriel testing them? Did Gabriel _want_ Beelzebub to _force_ themself on him? That’s why he said no in the first place? That didn’t seem fun or interesting at all.

Well _shit_. They’d overanalysed.

“You were so in control. So...I believe the term is ‘domineering’? I was curious to see how domineering you could get.” Gabriel explained, sounding hopeful.

Now _that_ sounded fun.

Beelzebub gestured him to them with a slight tilt of their head, and together they started their walk through the buildings winding corridors and hallways.

“I'll keep that in mind.” They murmured thoughtfully.

If they had any imagination at all, Beelzebub would have been imagining all sorts of scenarios that they could be considered ‘domineering’. As it panned out, they had no imagination; **_Demon_**. So it would have to be played out by ear.

They had walked quietly side by side for a few minutes, when something suddenly occurred to Gabriel.

"Wait!” He exclaimed, but carried on walking. So did Beelzebub. “You might be tempting me, but I might actually not want it.” He ignored Beelzebub’s eye-roll at the word ‘tempt’. They were hardly tempting him at all. “It’s highly unlikely, as it feels **really** good. Even better than a new suit! But I'll need a way to let you know that I don't want you to continue."

Beelzebub didn't respond.

"Oh I know! I can say a specific word. If I say that word, then you'll know that it really is off the table. ...or desk."

Beelzebub nods. It's a good plan.

"It'll have to be a word I never use..." Gabriel’s brows furrowed in thought.

Beelzebub dug around in their brain for words that an Angel would never say.

"Porn?" Beelzebub offered.

Gabriel laughed. "I say ‘pornography’ more often than you'd think, thanks to Sandalphon."

Beelzebub decided they did not want to know. Not at all. Not one bit. Nada. Niet! In this moment, they were thankful for their lack of imagination.

"Antidisestablishmentarianism?" Gabriel suggested.

Beelzebub shook their head. "Too long. I'd have you forgetting how to speak before you'd even finish saying it."

Gabriel blushed. Beelzebub found that they favoured Gabriel blushing, and that could just fuck right off too.

Beelzebub had a thought occur to them. They ran their hand down their face, feeling annoyed. “There's a word I never want to hear again, lest I discorporate from sheer dissatisfaction.”

“Which is?” Gabriel frowned.

“Those idiots said it at the airbase.” Beelzebub prompted.

Gabriel looked at them, his face contorting.

“_Ineffable_.” Both of them said at the same time, shuddering.

“That’s our word.” Gabriel declared.

“Complete buzzkill.” Beelzebub agreed.

They’d walked down several flights of stairs by this point, and were traipsing around the ground floor.

Gabriel must have decided that he’d gone too long without saying anything because he said, apropos of nothing, “What is this?” He gestured between them.

“Not a date.” Beelzebub buzzed.

“No, I mean- Us. This. What are we?”

Beelzebub considered it. They wanted to say ‘Fuckbuddies’, as it inferred less of an emotional attachment, but the ‘buddy’ part implied friendship, so that was a no.

“Boyfriends?” Gabriel suggested when Beelzebub failed to answer. He was clearly referring to the Effort that they decided to keep.

“Neither of us are boys.” Beelzebub pointed out. _Nor are we friends._ Again with the gendered titles that didn’t apply to them.

“Then...lovers?” He sounded hopeful.

Beelzebub put a hand over their mouth and wretched.

“That’s a nope, then...” Gabriel trailed off.

“It doesn’t need classifying.” Beelzebub was getting annoyed.

“But the humans do it.”

Fuck. They had agreed to do human things as a way to pass the time now that they weren’t waging war against each other. There was _literally_ nothing better to do.

“Humans give everything a label.” Gabriel continued.

It was one of the features of humanity that Beelzebub truly hated. It was the bane of their existence.

They tried it anyway.

“Pet.” They said.

“We’re doing labels, not nicknames.” Gabriel replied, cockily. Beelzebub smacked his arm.

“No. You’re like a pet.” Beelzebub clarified.

“_What_?” Gabriel sounded appalled, but then smiled teasingly. “You’re going to put a collar and leash on me?”

Beelzebub considered it.

“If you’re lucky.”

Their heart didn’t beat.

\--

Over the next couple of weeks, the two of them met up many times. Sometimes they’d try out the sturdiness of different desks, Gabriel fully willingly, and sometimes they’d venture out of the building. They mostly stuck to narrow alleyways, so that the sky wouldn’t be too daunting. The flies would buzz closely to Beelzebub’s head, to keep them calm.

It was stupid for a Demon to panic about such things, they were very aware. But all the Demons of Hell had their anxieties. For as much as he was a Pyromaniac, Hastur actually really feared fire. Ever since Ligur had been obliterated, and he’d almost been splashed by the Holiest bath in Hell, he’d also had a fear of water. Eric, the Disposable Demon, had a fear of being alone. That’s why there was so many of him; he kept making duplicate copies he was telepathically linked to at all times. He had to have a licence for all of him, and fill out a lot of paperwork.[9]

Towards the end of the third week of their clandestine meetings, Gabriel failed to turn up, despite being the one to send the note.

This left Beelzebub feeling mightily pissed off, and they returned back to Hell, several hours of waiting later, in a worse mood than usual. Everyone noticed. The Demons gave them a wide berth as they trudged through the crowded corridors towards their throne. To further their fury, an idle Demon was licking the walls again. They grabbed the back if its head, and ground it into the brickwork on their way past. _Fucking Demons_!

Beelzebub slumped heavily in their uncomfortable throne, and screamed at the nearest bystander to get them a coffee. The bystander scuttled off, and returned holding a disposable Starbucks cup.[10]

They took a sip that was always on the wrong side of too hot, when Eric strolled up to them casually, trying and failing to hide his excitement.

“Lord Beelzebub! Your majesty. Sir. Ma’am-” He stumbled over his words with a bow, before Beelzebub cut him off.

“GET ON WITH IT.” They roared.

Eric squeaked, and fell to his knees, grovelling at their feet. Beelzebub placed a foot on his shoulder.

“We have a gift for you, Lord Beelzebub.” He whimpered.

Beelzebub found that the gifts they were given were usually bitter disappointments.[11]

“WHERE IS IT, THEN?” They pressed hard onto Eric’s shoulder. Better just to get this over and done with.

“It’s on Earth, Ma’am, Sir.” The Demon replied, cowering.

If Beelzebub had had a better imagination, they may have felt a pit in their stomach.

“Why is it on Earth?” They buzzed at him.

“We couldn’t bring it down to Hell. It’s, uh, too big. Come to Earth with us, my Lord, and you’ll see.” Eric begged.

Beelzebub removed their foot from the Disposable Demons shoulder, and kicked him over onto his backside.

“LET’S GO. BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND.” They growled, marching from the room, and back the way they’d come minutes earlier.

\--

Back on Earth, for the second time in 24 hours, Beelzebub was led by the Disposable Demon down some very familiar narrow alleyways, before entering a building adjacent to the one frequented by themself and Gabriel.

_Speaking of whom-_

This building was empty of desks. It was empty of walls. It was empty of anything, except some piles of rubble dotted around the room at random, and an Archangel on his knees, feet bound, hands ties behind his back, and gagged, surrounded by a wide ring of Hellfire.

Gabriel looked very calm.

Beelzebub felt a thud in their chest. Their hand flew up to meet it.

There were several Erics all around the room, holding different posts in guarding the Archangel.

Beelzebub tried counting him, clutching their chest as it thud slowly.

_1, 2, 3, 4..._

“Lord Beelzebub is pleased! We did it, lads. Look, they’re clutching their chest in delight.” The Eric that had brought Beelzebub here was jovial, and all the other Erics grinned and gave each other high-fives.

_...8, 9, 10._

“Why are there so many of you?” Beelzebub asked, the thudding in their chest getting harder and more frequent. They did not like this feeling at all, and not in the way that they shouldn’t like feelings.

“Many hands make light work.” Three of the Disposable Demons said in unison, the others patting him on his backs for his proverb.

“You can’t just kidnap an Archangel. You’ll start a war!” Beelzebub snapped their fingers, and the Hellfire ceased to exist, and the gag fell from Gabriel’s mouth. “Archangel. Are you injured?”

Gabriel wet his tongue inside his mouth a couple of times, before answering, “Not at all.”

That didn’t sound right. A kidnapping without a fight? The Erics picked up on Beelzebub’s bafflement.

“We hardly touched him, except to bind him up.” A Demon said.

"Take a selfie with him..." Said another.

“...and gag him. He wouldn’t stop talking!” Said a third.[12]

“He came along willingly.” Original Eric finished.

“Why?” Beelzebub turned to Gabriel and asked.

“They approached me and said ‘Lord Beelzebub sent us’.” Gabriel explained.

Beelzebub’s chest thudded harder again. They felt they might discorporate. They slapped their palm over their face.

“Yeah, we were confused too, but we figured we’d just gotten lucky and found a trusting Angel.”

“YOU COMPLETE MORONS.” Beelzebub snapped. “THAT’S THE ARCHANGEL FUCKING GABRIEL.”

The Demons all cowered together. Gabriel was still calm.

“We did it for you, Ma’am, Sir. You were so disappointed when Armageddon didn’t happen. We thought you’d enjoy a gift.” The Eric from earlier said earnestly.

“And what the fuck am I meant to do with an Archangel as a gift?” Beelzebub and all their flies buzzed loudly.

“I can think of a few things-” Gabriel started, but he was cut off.

“Archangel, I swear to Lucifer I will fuck your fucking face! Shut up for once!” Beelzebub’s chest was really hammering now, and they didn’t want to admit that they knew what this was. But they did.

Their heart was beating.

But not out of Love like Gabriel’s had.

But out of Fear for Gabriel’s safety.

They did not like it _one_ bit.

Gabriel let out an eager whine at Beelzebub’s threat.

The Erics sneered. “Oh look, he’s scared! The Angel is scared!”

Beelzebub knew he wasn’t scared. He was fucking horny. And Beelzebub had had quite enough of this beating heart.

They drew dual sabres out from absolutely nowhere, and wield them in front of them.

The Erics gasped in awe, huddled together.

Gabriel was a picture of calm.

“What’s Lord Beelzebub going to do to him?” A Disposable Demon gasped.

“I thought they’d play with him a bit before offing him.” Another pitched in.

“Those blades won’t do any permanent damage, they’ll only discorporate him.” Said a third.

Beelzebub ground their teeth.

“They’re not for him. They’re for you.” They bit out, and in a single, sweeping action that was lightning quick, they sliced off sixteen hands.

Eight Erics burned up on the spot with blood curdling screams, whilst the other two held onto each other tightly.

Beelzebub’s flies flew to the ground, picking up the severed appendages, and placed them in the arms of the remaining Demons.

“There’s your many hands.” They said, holding one sabre to both his throats.

Gabriel actually laughed, but was silenced when the second sabre landed upright in the floor in front of his knees with a twang. Beelzebub never missed.

“Lord Beelzebub...” The Erics cried.

“Stop multiplying! Your doppelgangers were unlicensed. Go back to Hell, and fill out your paperwork.” Beelzebub warned.

“Yes Sir, Ma’am.” The Erics ducked his heads, and grasped one another’s hands, and all the hands in his arms. “Thank you sparing two of me.” The identical Demons sank into the ground, and disappeared from sight.[13]

Beelzebub and Gabriel were all alone.

The Archangel was uncharacteristically quiet.

Beelzebub approached him, and crouched down to look at his face.

It was immaculate.

They ran their fingers across his face, learned the shape and contours, as their flies had done earlier. He stared at them with deep amethyst eyes as they moved.

They skimmed their hands down his chest, and legs, down his arms, along his shoulder blades where his wings would manifest.

The Disposable Demons had told the truth. He was unharmed.

With an unsuppressed sigh, Beelzebub’s heart beat one more time before stopping into calm.

They reached around Gabriel’s back to untie his hands, but he pulled back, and shook his head minutely.

Beelzebub cocked their eyebrow, and reached around once more, only to have Gabriel pull back again, shaking his head a bit fervently.

“Archangel. Let me untie you.” They said bluntly.

Gabriel blushed, and shook his head deliberately once, twice, three more times, trying to get his point across.

_Oh._

Beelzebub stood up. Gabriel, whilst kneeling, was at the perfect height to be level with their hips. He looked towards them, and then up at Beelzebub with pleading eyes. It elicited a physical response from the Demon Prince.

They placed one hand onto Gabriel’s head. He whimpered quietly.

“Say the word, Fuckangel.” Beelzebub said.

Gabriel went quiet.

Beelzebub undid their trousers one handed.

“Say. The. Word.” They said again.

The Archangel simply looked up at them, expectant.

Beelzebub gripped Gabriel’s hair, and tilted his head back forcefully.

“Say the blessed word, Gabriel!” They tried one more time.

Gabriel swallowed, and let his jaw go slack.

Enough chances.

Beelzebub made good on their earlier threat.

\--

There were a lot of things about Gabriel that annoyed Beelzebub. There were a lot of things about _everything_ that annoyed Beelzebub. But the one thing that was at the forefront of their mind at right this moment was:

Gabriel is a Cuddler. _Shudders._

He held them in his arms as he sat back against one of the piles of rubble in the vast open room. Beelzebub had long since given up fighting the act of affection. It was a good way to rest before they parted ways; before returning to Hell. No other reason than that. None at all. Nothing they need ever admit to.

“That was....” Gabriel searched for a word, “Divine.”

Beelzebub twisted his nipple, the flies buzzing aggressively.

“AaaAAh. You know what I mean!” He grabbed their hand and moved it away from any sensitive areas. Gabriel’s hand was warm. “It was good! I’m glad you weren’t making empty threats earlier. Oh, and your ‘Many Hands’ joke? Exquisite.”

Beelzebub rubbed their face into Gabriel’s still intact shirt[14], hoping he wouldn’t read too much into it. They weren’t nearly burned by that glowy love thing that the Archangel did when he was overcome by feelings of love, so it looked like they had gotten away with it.

“You’re an idiot.” Beelzebub said deadpan.

“You always think that. Be more specific.” Gabriel crooned.

“Why did you let him take you?”

Gabriel feigned ignorance. “There was so many of him, Beelz. I couldn’t have possibly have gotten away.”

“Yes, you could. You could’ve snapped your fingers, and been somewhere else. You could’ve bolted back to Heaven. You could’ve smote him all with one thought. Why didn’t you?” Beelzebub’s hand was getting hot inside Gabriel’s. They tried to move it away, but he held it firm.

Gabriel let out a small smile. “Because it seemed interesting.”

Beelzebub was allowed to pull away to look at him.

“It _was_ interesting, wasn’t it?” He cocked his head to the side slightly, grinning.

He was right. Beelzebub had found the situation anything but mundane, and there was the matter of their heart beating for the first time ever. It was an action they wished never to repeat.

They settled their head back onto his chest. He cradled them appreciatively.

“You weren’t even scared when surrounded by Hellfire.” Beelzebub stated.

“I suppose not.” He replied.

“Why?”

“I knew he was bringing you to me. It took a bit longer than I thought, but I knew you’d be here eventually.” Gabriel stroked down their arm with his free hand. The motion tickled, but Beelzebub didn’t react.

They also didn’t respond.

“I figured he’d tell you once you’d returned to Hell.”

Still nothing.

“Which you did, after you had been waiting for me.”

Nothing.

“For hours.”

Zilch.

“Oh Beelz.”

Ugh. That glowy thing was happening. Not enough to run from, but just enough to feel uncomfortable. And not in the way that Beelzebub was meant to feel uncomfortable.

“You waited for me? For hours? I thought you would’ve given up sooner.” Gabriel was positively radiant. It was _disgusting_.

Beelzebub still didn’t respond.

“Either way, I knew you’d protect me.” Gabriel continued.

Beelzebub was outraged. “Why would I protect you?!” They buzzed, flies moving faster around their heads.

“Because I’m your pet.” Gabriel laughed.

The buzzing stopped, Beelzebub stunned into silence.

They pushed up away from him, and he let them go. They brushed themself off, righting their clothes.

“Beelz?” Gabriel asked, only a little worry in his voice.

“Let’s stop meeting up.” They said, checking their sleeve cuffs.

Gabriel stood up, and rubbed his jaw. “Why?”

“You were captured because you’ve been visiting Earth too often. You need to avert suspicion.” Beelzebub straightened their sash, not looking at him.

The Archangel visibly relaxed. “Oh, that’s all? I’m not worried about me.” He waved off flippantly.

Beelzebub said nothing.

“Oh...but _you_ are.” Gabriel’s eyes widened.

Beelzebub still said nothing, but the flies buzzed a little louder.

“That’s why your heart beat? Because you were worried for me? Don’t deny it didn’t, I could hear it when you were checking me over.”

“It has never beat.” They said quietly.

“But it has now.”

“It was unpleasant.” Beelzebub looked away from him, at nothing in particular. “I’d prefer it not to.”

Gabriel crossed the space between them, and stood next to the Demon Prince. A few flies landed on his hand, and brought it up to rest on their shoulder. Beelzebub didn’t react to it.

For once, Gabriel seemed at a loss for words. They stood there in silence whilst the flies zipped around them. Then eventually:

“Ok.” Gabriel said simply.

Beelzebub looked at him, and said nothing.

“If that’s what you want. Ok. But let’s schedule to meet in a fortnight. No notes. Just the usual place and time, two weeks from now. Your Demons will have moved on to worse things by then.” Gabriel finished.

A fly or two landed on Gabriel’s cheek, and Beelzebub turned to walk away. Gabriel grabbed their arm and spun them, catching them by their face on either side, and kissed them deeply. Beelzebub’s arms flew up, and their nails begun to dig into his hands, but then they didn’t. They just held on.

Gabriel broke the kiss off, and whispered into their mouth. “Bye, Beelz.”

And with a pop, he was gone.

\--

True to his word, Gabriel hadn’t been back to Earth since their last liaison. He hadn’t sent any messages, and Beelzebub’s flies hadn’t brought any word of his appearance.

Back in Hell, Eric had to apply for a new licence to sell spare Demon parts. His second hand shop had been a roaring success.[15]

And Beelzebub was bored.

With just over a week to go before they would return to Earth to meet with the Archangel, a note appeared on Beelzebub’s desk.

_Covent Garden. Saturday. 2pm._

The paper was different than usual, and so was the meeting place and time.

They considered Covent Garden as a meeting place. Crowded, boxed in, low current of evil running through it. All in all, it was pretty similar to Hell. They’d be fine.

Gabriel better have a good fucking reason for breaking schedule.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment if you enjoyed, as it fuels my creativity. Kudos are appreciated too :)
> 
> This now leads into my first story [Will Too Much Love Kill You?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20508440) because I am confusing and work in mysterious ways. That story will be getting a sequel too, because I can't help myself.
> 
> You can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/joseyxneko).  

> 
> ** Footnotes **
> 
> 1And Lucifer was left-handed.[return to text]  

> 
> 2Although usually too Holy a word to even think, it seemed apt in this moment.[return to text]  

> 
> 3A No Good Egotistical Loser.[return to text]  

> 
> 4But Archangels were weird anyway. They’d be like ‘Yay, let’s spread peace and tranquillity’ one moment, and then ‘let’s turn people into salt and drown entire continents’ the next. At least Hell was consistent.[return to text]  

> 
> 5And another.[return to text]  

> 
> 6It may not be a very good nickname, but was because they lacked imagination, because **Demon.**[return to text]  

> 
> 7'Wronger' isn’t a word. Beelzebub didn’t care.[return to text]  

> 
> 8They weren’t wrong.[return to text]  

> 
> 9Which wasn’t really an issue, considering how many of him there were.[return to text]  

> 
> 10The Evilest of all coffee.[return to text]  

> 
> 11They’d be right, yet again.[return to text]  

> 
> 12_Smart_, thought Beelzebub. They liked their own methods better though.[return to text]  

> 
> 13Once back in Hell, he opened up a second hand shop. The Demons of Hell appreciated the joke, having been on the receiving end of Beelzebub’s sabres one too many times.[return to text]  

> 
> 14Beelzebub had gotten better at not massacring Gabriel’s wardrobe, after much begging from the Archangel.[return to text]
> 
> 15He confirmed that there was no telepathic link with the parts, despite complaints from some Demons about spontaneous rude hand gestures.[return to text]


End file.
